Wow, I am awful at this whole Blog posting thing. To be honest I procrastinate at anything that requires writing - thank you notes, emails, journals, college papers. It is an absolute miracle that I actually graduated from a liberal arts college, with a degree in Religion nonetheless. And that I am a year away from completing my Master's degree. I think that being in school requires so much writing that by the time I am done with my papers the last thing I want to do is write more. The issue lies within my "slight" tendency to be perfectionistic. My theory is that if you can't do something right the first time (or at least the second time) then why do it? To me there is no perfectly right way to write and it frustrates the heck out of me. By just changing one word, things can be totally different, not necessarily right or perfect but different. The ambiguity overwhelms me, yet the freedom excites me! I can write whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want on this Blog and I need to remember that, rather than look at it as just another assignment.
The one kind of writing I do enjoy is making To-Do lists! I am definitely the kind of person who will add things to my To-Do list that I have already done just so I can receive the pleasure of checking those items off. Pure Bliss! So, I have a list I have been keeping of all kinds of ideas for Blog Postings. I don't think that this one was on the list though...must add and check off! I am constantly writing in my head but it is usually at the most inopportune times like when I am on a walk with Avlynne, driving in the car, taking a shower, in class or while nursing Avlynne. These activities don't usually go well with typing at the same time. I refuse to be that person in the back of the classroom typing away, making an obnoxious taping noise, pretending to take notes when there is absolutely nothing to be taking notes on. Don't get me wrong, I fully support the idea of multitasking, I just think the task should be a less disruptive one, like making a To-Do list for instance. And my daughter is going through a phase of becoming highly distracted while eating. I used to be able to talk on the phone, read, watch TV, catch up with KJ, you name it, but now I must be in a perfectly quiet room if I desire her to eat in a timely fashion. In other words, the ideas just build up in my brain, make it on to a list and then stay there. I have a few weeks off from school and therefore I'm hoping some of these ideas will actually make it on to this Blog. Here is my dilemma though, I have a list with Blogging as an item...do I get to check that off after I have completed this one post or do I have to wait until I have completed my list of ideas? Does anyone else ponder these "HUGE" life issues?? I hope not, but if you do I am grateful for your company!
The real reason I desire to write this blog and keep it up to date is because I feel like I need to maintain some kind of written history for my family. Lets be honest, the scrapbook thing isn't working for me. The last era of my life that I scrapbooked was my junior year of college which was in 2002. If I haven't been able to keep up a scrapbook while I was without a child, I definitely won't be able to keep one up now. KJ and I purchased an adorable baby book but I have already neglected to complete the information for the 1st 5 months of Av's life and my memory fails me all the time. Those first few months of her life are already a complete blur.
Whenever I do think about blogging, my mind quickly goes to a list of other more pertinent items that must be taken care of - homework, bills, dishes (does anyone want to donate a dishwasher and the necessary plumbing to the Johnson household?), laundry, cooking. Blogging never quite makes it to the top but for some reason looking at random, rather useless information on Facebook does...this is a temptation I must strive to resist! I can do it! Maybe I should add "Not looking at Facebook" to a To-Do list. I aspire to be like my many friends who diligently update their Blogs. I thoroughly enjoy reading them, I just want to have my own, if not for anybody else's sake but my own, to help my failing memory. My blog may not be as witty or as enthralling as the next one but it will be my perfectly, imperfect blog with my perfectly, imperfect writing.
So all this is to say that I will give myself grace, I will keep completing To-Do lists, I will keep checking off my To-Do lists and I will continue to make some attempts at this whole Blogging thing.
